A Tale of Nose Picking, Yelling, Pleasant Goat, and Big Big Wolf

Shame shame on me for waiting until 3 months of living here to update you on China.  To be honest, I've been distracted with a constant headache from Chinese people always talking so loudly. Why must they talk so loud? It's a question I ask myself everyday. Although I have yet to start talking that loud myself while in a public place, I am becoming Chinese. This will surely annoy people in America when I visit for a short Christmas holiday. I imagine people will think the same things I thought when I first got here...pressing the lift button 10 times is NOT going to make it arrive faster.  Pressing the close door button in the lift 5 times immediately following entry or exit will not get you there faster either.  Yelling "fu wu yuan" rudely in a restaurant will only result in getting your food spit in while in the US. We can only do that here in China.  As well as the words which translate to "handsome boy" in order to get a waiter's attention.  Staring at people as if they are aliens will only result in a slap in the face in the US.  And getting into people's business will probably result in an injury. 

I do all of these things, as I realised a few weeks ago upon seeing my first scooter wreck.  Regardless of my lack of extensive knowledge of the Chinese language, I sat on a bench in the middle of this scene and watched the two Chinese men argue about it for twenty minutes before I left. Quite entertaining if I do say so myself.  Maybe not the content of the argument, but perhaps knowing that I was literally a few feet away from the argument, turning my head back and forth as if it were a tennis match.  I was not the only one in attendance that day, however.  Because this is China, there was a circle of people.  This happens daily, people infiltrating private, or not so private considering Chinese people always yell in normal conversation, talks between people. 

Other oddities here that would never be seen happening in are the openings of windows during winter time.  This is certainly one of my biggest pet peeves here.  Today, in fact, as I was in class, my students, who refuse to take off their jackets, wanted the window open to let the 40 degrees air in.  It must be considered Chinese taboo to remove your jacket, scarf, and beanie indoors.  Another favorite includes the warm up of Chinese waiters and waitresses.  The occurrence is absolutely brilliant and one of my favorite things to watch.  All managers at restaurants in the US, take note:  apparently it is absolutely necessary to make your employees line up outside your establishment, lecture them, and then have them perform a routine dance prior to entering the restaurant to take the first order.  The first time you come across this,  you will probably have one of those "omg get this filmed now...what IS this?" reactions. 

If you aren't a dancing waiter, perhaps you are a dancing store attendant. Sometimes I simply want to say, "Just because you are outside the shop waving your hands and doing a little dance, doesn't mean I will come inside"....even though I sometimes do just because I want to see what they are on about.  Turns out its just another shop with clothes that fit only people the size of elves or a shop with random bunches of complete crap worth two yuan (30 cents).

Recently I came across a list titled "You have been in China too long if..."  Let me list several of my favourites which I have already found to be true or just funny.  


1. Before asking someone’s age, you ask what animal they are. (People year are categorized by the year they were born.  I was born in the year of the rabbit.  Apparently this tells you more about me then my actual age.)
2. You start picking at other people’s dinner plates before they even offer you a taste.  (Yes, people here do that)
3. You eat family style at any and all restaurants, Chinese or not. (that's the only way to eat! Who cares if we order 14 dishes for 3 people!)
7. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules. (It is true...Chinese people do NOT know how to drive. I prefer the crazy drivers in Peru to the clueless ones here)
9. You buy a round trip air ticket in China. (yes, I'm going home for Christmas and returning back to China)
10. You no longer need tissues to blow your nose. (Men AND women do this here.  Just blow their noses without kleenex.  Because that is so sanitary.  This is why I'm always sick.)
11. You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai. (Very true)
12. You think singing Karaoke on Friday nights is fun. (I don't think it's fun, but the Chinese do love their karaoke)
13. Other foreigners seem foreign to you.
14. You consider McDonalds a treat.
15. You ask how much people are making and expect people to answer. (I was a bit put off when someone first asked me this.  Then I learned that its normal. Manners, people.)
16. You talk louder than is necessary.  (Isn't that the truth?  I don't need to hear your entire conversation at a yell).
18. You prefer using chopsticks. (I do!)
19. Chinese fashion starts looking hip.  (I'm starting to think this way. Oh no)
21. You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle.
22. Your body no longer needs dairy products. (I don't remember the last time I had a dairy product.  Give me cheese dip from my favorite Mexican restaurant please.)
24. The last time you visited your mother, you gave her your business card (We all have business cards.  I've given one away, because I couldn't remember my phone number.  I think I'll include them in my Christmas cards this year)
25. You start to enjoy the taste of bai jiu.  (Absolutely the worst alcohol you will ever have.  No words can describe.  But we drink it anyways)
26. You go back home for a short visit, get in a car and start giving the driver directions in Chinese.
27. You have to pause and translate your phone number into English before telling it to someone.
28. Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.
31. You go to the local shop in pajamas.  
34. You see some real cleavage and think WOW!
35. You ask fellow foreigners the all-important question “How long have you been here?” in order to be able to properly categorize them.
38. When looking out the window, you think “Wow, so many trees!” instead of “Wow, so much concrete!”
39. You seriously contemplate putting bathroom tiles on the outside of your house back home.
41. Pollution, what pollution?
42. You think squat toilets are more sensible
44. You start wearing long thermal underwear on October 
1st no matter what the temperature is.
45. You stop wearing long thermal underwear on May 1st no matter what the temperature is.
46. You phone an English-speaking laowai friend and somehow can’t bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
47. You stop enjoying telling newcomers to China ‘all about China’.


49. You are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you’ll probably never ever meet her again.
52. When you think it’s alright to stick your head into a stranger’s apartment to see if anybody’s home.  (I do this with my neighbours, whom I have never met.)
53. You think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser.
55. You think “white pills, blue pills, and pink powder” is an adequate answer to the question “What are you giving me, doctor?”.
56. Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.
57. 70 degrees F. feels cold.
61. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
62. Firecrackers don’t wake you up.
64. You don’t mind when your date picks his/her nose in public.
70. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
75. Forks feel funny.
76. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
81. You get homesick for Chinese food when away from China.
86. Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding.
87. The Lunar Calendar ALWAYS takes precedence.
95. After being in an accident, you tell the ambulance driver which hospital to take you to.
101. You can make elevators go faster by boarding first and taking over the controls.
103. You think of ‘salad’ as diced apples in mayonnaise
104. You don’t recognise a bowl of chicken soup unless there’s feet and a head in it.
107. In the summer, you roll the legs of your pants up to your knees whenever you sit down.
108. (men) And you roll your shirt up to your nipples.
109. You only wear a suit when you dig ditches or do home repairs.
110. You have a purse and you are male.
111. You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio.
112. You smoke in crowded elevators.
114. You go to the hospital at the first signs of a cold.
117. Your handshake is weakening by the day.
118. You would never think of entering your house without first removing your shoes.
119. You can’t put a proper sentence together in your native language.
120. You aren’t aware that one is supposed to pay for software.
121. Drilling on the walls in the wee small hours in the morning is considered acceptable behaviour.
122. You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.
123. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your 
acquaintance have chosen for themselves.
124. Your collection of business cards has outgrown your flat.
126. You use the word “Ayyiieeaaahh” every few sentences to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or anger.

127. You speak enough Chinese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off (attempts with anyone else still only draw blank stares).
128. You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other.
131. You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign.
132. You start to think that the most popular cartoon here is a bit cool. Meet Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf.


You know you have been in China too long when you start making lists like this.  

Literally Lost in Translation

Almost three weeks in China so far. Hard to believe that I can say, China is exactly how I imagined. I have found that almost everything I have ever heard of China, to be true. 
Right now, I am sitting in my 15th story flat, looking out the window towards tall buildings, a busy streets, construction sounds, smog, and scooters galore.  The vast amount of scooters here amazes me.  They even have their own lane in the roads.  A lane which people can walk in.  Still not used to being able to walk in the road, while trying not to be hit by one of the many crazy drivers, whether it be via taxi, scooter, or bike.  Soon, I can be one of those crazy drivers myself.  My friend Simon has given me his bike upon his return to England this morning.  Very thankful for that, because many times I miss my bike that is sitting in the garage in the United States.  It is a casualty of my nomad lifestyle these days.  I'll get it out on the streets soon, and if I die, we can blame Simon for that because he made the bike available to me. 

So, you might be wondering what my first impressions of China were.  I'll start by explaining my journey here.  I left my house at 230 am, to go to Monroe.  I caught a plane from the small small small airport there and went to Houston, and then to LAX, where I was positive I would see a movie star in the international terminal.  I am fairly convinced I saw a basketball star because of his height, but other than that, only me, with two many hand bags.  From LAX to Shanghai, I was sitting amongst a group of Chinese teenagers (about 30 or 40) returning from a trip to the US.  Seeing as I dont sleep well on planes, I took many Dramamine to help me sleep.  And by many, I mean enough to make me pass out to the point where the flight attendants were worried about me. 

When I arrived in Shanghai at 530, I got my bags and found my driver waiting for me in the arrivals.  There was my name on a sign.  Followed him and felt sort of priveleged.  Here I am, dressed nice and there is a short man carrying all of my luggage for me.  Maybe people thought I was important.  Or maybe they just said, wow foreign creature with blonde hair. Let's stare some more.

The drive to Shanghai to Wuxi was good.  Then I passed out for the last 30 minutes.  Seeing as all I could say to the driver was thank you, I probably seemed a freak because I kept repeating it the whole journey together.  I can thank him, though, for teaching me how to properly say Wuxi.  Not that I can still properly say it, but at least I know how it sounds.  Maybe in 7 months I'll get the tones down of the pronunciation of the city I live in.  By the way, that x in Wuxi does not sound like an x, but rather an sh sound with very little emphasis on the h while using a certain tone.  Good luck with that.

I arrived at the flat and was pleasantly surprised with my room.  I had plenty of storage space, but the entire time I was thinking, why is it so hot, and why is my bed wood only? Welcome to China.  Now you may sweat through your clothes and then go sleep on a wooden mattress covered by a sheet, but dont cover up with the sheet because at night you will melt. 

After talking to Matt for hours once he arrived home, I went to sleep, and woke up to go to work.  Was pleasantly surprised again with the school I teach at. I actually have desk space.  In a room with many other teachers, with endless amounts of resources, and we can even use the copy machine.  For those in Peru, please compare now. 

So, I've been teaching for 2 weeks so far.  Has been interesting.  I love most of my classes.  The ages range from 4-15.  Chinese children are for the most part adorable.  Sometimes naughty, and I have to be the mean teacher, which I don't like, but I applaud myself for being able to sound mean through my laid back attitude, friendly voice, and smile.  Yesterday, I started teaching a weekly class at a public school, and let me say that when my DOS told me to walk in and not smile the entire day because they can run wild if they know their teacher is nice, I was not looking forward to that.  And for good reason too.  Three of us went yesterday to a school with bars on the windows.  I felt like a military dictator out for the kill walking into the school with a scowl on my face.  So let's just say that I won't be looking forward to the weekly classes at Xishi. But the classes at EF are for the most part a joy.

Other than teaching, I have had little time to do other things.  I have hung out with some friends.  Matt is a great flatmate.  Christine took me for my first Chinese meal, and she, Eatty, and I have been shopping and eating out.  One day, Eatty took me to the lake to take pictures.  And tonight is girls night with the three of us and Safa.  Looking forward to that.  Other times, I have hung out with Simon and Sergiy.  Always fun around those two. 

So other than all of that terribly exciting news, here is what I have observed about China...

The men actually DO spit anywhere.  And not just a dainty spit, but a real powerful gutteral sounding spit.  It should come as no surprise to you, that this...does not appeal to me.  I also love, and think American men should do this as well, that Chinese men walk around with their shirts either off or rolled to the tops of their stomachs.  Amazing.  Chinese girls do, in fact, walk around in the highest heels imaginable.  Although I am surprised they are not as short as I imagined.  Maybe I just got used to being a giant in Peru.  China really is a quickly developing nation.  And rightly so, considering the unbelievable amount of people here.  I live in a city of 6 million.  Small by China standards.  But considering I hail from a town of 25,000 I'll accept a "small" city in China anyday.  I think I should find a new place to shop, though.  Went to Carrefour one night to buy some food and a phone.  It was like Walmart, the day before Christmas, on steroids, times a million.  Haven't they heard of leisurely shopping?  The food here, as you can imagine, is amazing.  Have only eaten proper Chinese food 3 or 4 times but it has been delicious.  Am also becoming a pro at eating with chopsticks.  No wonder the government has allowed me a residence permit.  I am practically Chinese now.  Although you can't tell by the looks of me.  And I know this because of the amount of stares I get.  I particulary like it when Chinese kids look at me and point and I wave back and it thrills them.  They dont understand the height.  They dont understand the blonde hair.  They dont understand the curly hair.  Almost makes me feel important.


Well, I'm off.  Off to complete the weekly mission that Claire has given me.  Eat something Chinese that is either dog, a fried insect, or chicken feet.  We'll see how that goes. 

Off the Beaten Path

Having been in the United States for one month, I still relive my favorite memories from Peru each day in my head.  Peru gave me the greatest friends, the funniest memories, and the most interesting experiences.  Before I went to Peru, I didnt know much about it.  I soon found out that it is the strangest, coolest, most adventurous place I have ever been.  It's off the beaten path.  I dont really know people who go to Peru.  They usually choose Argentina or Brazil.  But, little do they know, an amazing South American country is next door, if they would only visit it....maybe they would have great memories that can come close to rivaling mine...


I really enjoyed my last month in Peru. I wanted to stay longer, doing stupid things with friends, goofing off with my favorite class at school, going to spanish lessons everyday, and hanging out with locals.  Amanda, Sabah, and I signed up for Spanish lessons. Everyday, we walked 30 minutes to our class in Cayma, located in a cute house, owned by a cute couple, and we had the best two teachers.  Sitting outside in a garden, at a small table with an umbrella, the three of us, and our teachers Carlos and Ageda, we learned tons and I like to say I'm fluent in Spanish now....right? ;-) in all honesty, we learned so much. I can say this with confidence because for 5 hours a day we mostly had conversations about everything...politics, life, religion, you name it.


I also had the pleasure of experiencing Fathers Day in Peru.  It was fun.  Pilar had tons of family members in town staying at the house, including two awesome little cousins, ages 4 and 6, who became my friends very fast.  They brought me apples and bananas to eat everyday, and even gave me a bag to accompany me back to America.  One spoke fluent English, the other only Spanish.  But she did learn how to say "hi", "ok", "I'm sick", and "bye".    On the actual Fathers Day, Matt, Miguel, and Amanda walked into the house to see me at a dinner table with 20 Peruvians.  I thought it was normal but I can see how they thought it was a funny sight. I absolutely love this family.  Pilar and Hilda are the best family one can have while in another country.  My favorite story from the house was the time I was really sick.  I had Peru Tummy. Hurray!  Hilda came into my room one night to give me natural medicine.  I had a faint idea what this was because Matt experienced the same thing a month before.  So what is natural Peruvian medicine?  It started out with her telling me to get off of facebook =( and laying down.  She and Pilar beat egg whites in a bowl (odd look on my face), spreading it over paper that they had punched holes in (oooook?), holding it over a candle flame, and putting the pieces of paper all over my body....chest, arm pits (that one was cold), stomach, palms, and soles of my feet,  and then covering my hands and feet with socks (please imagine the look on my face).   After all of this insanely uncomfortable feeling (while all of my friends were out having fun), she rubbed some herb smelling stuff on my face and neck, said some things in Spanish, maybe it was Quechua, I didnt know because I was SO confused. And then she told me to go to bed.  It was only 830! And then I realized my contacts were still in. Ha. And then they left.  And then I realized I had to go to the bathroom.  Oops. Needless to say that had to be held until morning.  Imagine waking up with egg whites hardened all over your body with paper bits all over. I had to sweep again that day boooo.  But, I woke up feeling AMAZING.  Actually, within minutes the previous night, I was fever free.  I LOVE HILDA AND PILAR.

Other favorite moments from the last month were seeing my favorite class two more times.  The Monday and Tuesday before I left I went to extreme to see Kathy, Yufen, Valeria, Joice, Joselyn, Raul, Paola, Edgar, Andre, David, and the rest.  The girls and I went to Mcdonalds.  I should feel guilty about the Mcdonalds but I must admit in Peru it is delicious AND we walked a ways to get there.  I miss you guys....Best class ever.


I also had the pleasure of being treated to dinner by Leonel and Elvis.  Me, Amanda, and Matt joined them at La Italiana and I had the BEST shrimp fettucine I have ever had.  Move over Italians, because the Peruvians can cook your food just as good as you can.  Leonel and Elvis are so sweet.  I decided to treat myself that night and thats why I ordered the expensive dish that included shrimp.  And then I found out Leonel and Elvis were paying, which is absolutely ridiculous, and felt terrible.  Oh well.  Later, we went to play pool and Elvis pulled out a 2 Liter bottle of wine from his backpack.  This was brilliant.  By the way, I dont play pool.  But thank you Leonel for teaching me and being the best pool partner in the world.  And no, I didnt tell anyone that you were whispering to me exactly what to before I made a shot...is that even the correct technical pool jargon?  Who knows....Another day, I met Leonel for lunch at Mistica.  And I swear one day I will pay him back for every meal he bought for me.  I had every intention of paying when I got there, but my good friend beat me to it.  After that, I walked with him to Mitchell where he works.  Mitchell is the company that produces Alpaca wool goods.  They have a small museum showing you how they process the wool, and he showed me around there.  Then we had to say goodbye, and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I was going to cry, and I didnt want anyone to see that again =P I love you Leonel, and I miss you so much.  Sunday Skype dates with you will continue forever until I see you.


One more story about my last month.  On the night Amanda was leaving Arequipa for good, I was convinced that I wouldnt cry because I had already accepted it.  We ate at the Llama on a Sunday.  And when she had to leave I boo hooed AGAIN.  As if balling my eyes out once when Claire left wasnt enough, I did it again, surely convincing people who frequent the Llama regularly that I am, in fact, mental.  So, thirty minutes post amandas departure, I was depressed, and in walks Amanda.  It took all of 0.000001 seconds to look at her and start crying again.  Ya....through a hard to understand "what are you *sniff* doing *sniff* here *sniff*?", she told me that the buses were cancelled because of a strike in Cusco that was resulting in the workers rioting in the roads.  (I still think this method is brilliant).   So, Amanda and I had two more days together.  And then she left again, after a lovely dinner at Crepisimo.  As soon as she got into the taxi, I cried.  I've convinced myself that I'm overly emotional....


And finally, two other great memories of my last month...when my brother was in town, Diego drove us around one day.  If you don't remember, Diego was my closest Peruvian friend.  He picked us up and drove us all around Arequipa.  We stopped to get beer from the store to drink while driving around.  Because that is completely normal.  Diego even popped open a can while driving.  Brilliant.  Later that day, he drove us to the airport and I cried of course when Eric leaved.  Then he left me to cry on Diego.  Thank you Diego for putting up with every stupid thing I do, taking me to the pharmacy, going to eat at Turko even though I know you didnt want to, walking around with me, and being the greatest friend I could have had in a really foreign country.  I miss you!!!


Another of my friends, Carlos, had his friend drive us around.  We went to the countryside and a spot where you can see all of Arequipa and the 3 volcanoes.  I loved it.  He even bought me queso helado which translates to cheese ice cream, but actually it tastes like cheesecake.  Thanks Carlos, you are a great friend, and I miss you too!




So what do I miss about Peru?


Walking down the streets seeing babies carried in bags on their mothers backs. Walking to the corner store Cielo to buy Oreos, Snickers, and Cokes from Pilar's aunt. Cramming into the small taxis and refusing to pay more than 3.50 which is still an outrageous price even if it only converts to 1 American dollar. Looking at a newspaper stand with papers very respectable on the front only to open it up and see half naked women inside (that will get the readers attention).  Sitting down with my Peruvian family to drink hot chocolate at night.  Being told in Spanish that I am tall by strangers when on the sidewalk.  Eating at Turko (the peruvian taco bell), Tacos y Tequila, Crepisimo, Cafe y Vino, and more.  Going to the Super to get ice cream.  Being harassed by people in the plaza to come eat at their restaurant.  Being attacked by pigeons in the center.  Hearing "meeeeeeees" yelled out and knowing that one of my students was talking to me.  Walking into the University without an id because I was a professor.  Not being surprised when students showed up an hour late for class. Being barked at by roof dogs.  Walking 20 minutes to the best empanada place in the city.  Hearing Carlos laugh at me when I made a mistake during a lesson.  Driving around with Diego drinking beer because that would never happen in the US.  Diego in general because he always took care of me.  Going to Siglo 20 to buy movies (I came back with about 60).  Getting on top of that bar in the Llama.  Watching Ollie ride his bike into the wall at the Llama.  Going to the pharmacy and getting anything I wanted for 15 cents even without a prescription.  Chasing after Claire at 4 am.  Trying to figure out which friends were doing which stupid things. Going to burker king every Sunday morning.  Tripping on the sidewalk everyday because they are old fashioned and cobblestoned.  Being unbelievably uncomfortable in the Red Bar but staying anyways.  Seeing pictures of half naked people on the walls of the Pirate Bar. Listening to insults from Matt and Miguel while I secretly knew that they loved me despite what they say.  Free shots from Fiona any day of the week.  Listening to rubbish trucks playing classical and Disney music.  Random blackouts throughout town that resulted in cancelled classes. Dinners and lunch with Leonel, the sweetest person I have ever met. Drying my clothes on a line up on the roof.  Leaving my rooftop bedroom door open to the great outdoors.  Seeing the Misit, Chichani, and Picchu Picchu volcanoes everyday.  Seeing how excited people get excited about Mcdonalds. The fact that there is a gym overlooking the foodcourt in the mall.  Walking millions of miles to the university and secretly loving it because the exercise meant that I could eat another snickers that day.


And mostly I miss my friends.  I already wrote about them once but to reiterate...How lucky was I to meet such great people?  We all come from different walks of life and we are the most random group of people you will ever see together.  But somehow, we make it work, and we have more fun than anyone else.  I can guarantee that.  


Amanda, Claire, Sabah, Pilar, Fiona, Miguel, Matt, Diego, Leonel, Elvis, Rodrigo, Antuka, Majo, Carlos, Verena, Mick, Juan, Lucia, Maru, AJ, and everyone else..our crazy stories and secrets will stay with me forever.  We will all meet again one day.

So people ask me, "How was Peru?" and my first reaction is to laugh, smile, and say, "oh, Peru..." because despite everything I have written, nothing can accurately describe every wonderful thing I experienced in my 6 months there.  Thanks Arequipa for being a great home.  I'll see you again soon someday.  

The Trek to Machu Picchu

On one Thursday night, my friend Kari and I packed up our bags to head to Cusco.  We were both going to meet our brothers.  After two days of strategically packing my things for hiking and sightseeing into one backpack, I set off with dramamine in my pocket, sending up prayers that weren't going to die on the bus ride through the mountains. 

For this journey we splurged and got the expensive tickets.  Our seats were plush and comfortable.  We settled in, took some pills to sleep, and some "herbal" medicine that the pharmacist gave us (for what, we don't know).  At one point my backpack decided to make my life miserable and turn over and fall in the aisle spreading my things everywhere.  I didnt have on my glasses or contacts.  So I had to CRAWL around in the aisle collecting my belongings.  And then, the door in front of me opened, hit my head, and I was greeted by the stewardess who asked me why I put my things in the aisle.  Like I would actually spread my things in the aisle...

We arrived in a very COLD Cusco at 5 am and headed to the Casa Andina San Blas Hotel that I was staying at with Eric.  Thank the Lord that they had a room ready.  We grabbed breakfast which was 18 American dollars, I almost died from the price, and then I stuffed some tea packets and rolls in my pockets for good measure.  Later, I took a nap while Kari went to her hostel.  Then I took a bath and met her for lunch at a cute trattoria in the center.  Walking 3 blocks in the narrow windy streets, I was reminded of Siena, Italy, and I was also reminded that I should have brought my inhaler because I couldn't breathe in the high altitude.  A few hours after, I met up with Eric (yay!) and I introduced him to Peru.  We grabbed dinner at the same place I had lunch.  Haha...it was really good...

So a bit about some of the sites in Cusco...

First is the cathedral.   It is fairly typical, and by typical I mean beautiful. As are all cathedrals.  This one had a few interesting things. For instance, mirrors near the alter.  Apparantly mirrors were frightening several centuries ago.  It was unreal to see a reflection, and this fear drove the churchgoers attention away from the walls and towards the center at the alter.  They should try that in elementary schools I've decided.  Also, a cross, in the choral seating, given to the cathedral by the Vatican.  And finally, a "Black Jesus", patron of earthquakes.

Another popular site is Qorikancha, the site of an ancient Inca temple.  It was originally covered in gold.  Qorikancha actually means "Golden Courtyard".  The temple was later taken by the Spanish and the gold was melted down.  Inside, you can see Spanish architecture on top of Inca structures.  It is a strange yet really cool thing to see.  All that remains today are the outer wall and some small buildings inside, which is now a monestary.  

Now let me tell you about the Incas...

The Inca people began as a tribe in the 12th century and formed their capital in Cusco, which means center or naval.  Technically speaking, the term Inca people is incorrect.  Inca, in Quechua (the official language) means king.  On my journey to Machu Picchu, I learned that it is correct to refer to the people of that time as the Quechua people, who were ruled by the Incas/kings. So...under the leadership of Manco Capac, they formed their city state in the form of one of their 3 sacred animals---puma, condor, and snake.  Cuzco was, and still is despite its growth, in the shape of a puma. 

At the head of the puma is Saqsaywaman (not pronounced sexy woman but similar sock-sigh-wah-mon...you can laugh here), a site at 14,000 feet which overlooks Cuzco.  Saqsaywaman serves as the teeth of the head.  The day I went was pretty cold and drizzly, because its always appropriate to have bad weather when you are outside all day, but it was a great start to all of the historical sites that we saw that day.  At this site, I learned several things, including Pope John Paul II's visit there, the methodology of Inca structures, etc.  Another interesting note is a miniature version of the Christ the Redeemer statue next to Saqsaywaman.  It was given to Cuzco in the 20th century by a group from Pakistan who wanted to thank the city for its hospitality. 

It has been said that Sacsayhuaman included a Sun Temple.  So, it would have been used as a ritual site, which seems natural considering the layout of the rocks are to highlight the rising and setting of the sun.  There is a large open area where llamas roam, and it can hold thousands of people.  If I had been able to, I would have returned to this exact site during the solstice (winter for Peru, summer in the US).  Peruvians celebrate Inti Raymi, the annual Inca festival of the winter solstice and new year in this big field.

The site is a set of stones in three tiers, each one taller than the one in front of it. The stones used are said to be the largest used in any prehispanic America.  It is a display of the precise cut and fitting of each rock which has never been matched in all of the Americas.  The combination of interlocking shapes between completely unique stones, the rounded corners of the stones, and the trapezoidal shape and leaning in of the walls have enabled this site, and every other Inca site, to withstand devestating earthquakes in Cusco whereas the Spanish structures have been damaged or destroyed. 

After Sacsayhuaman, we drove to Q'engo and later Puka Pukara, a road control system.  Then we crossed the road and walked 10 minutes to Tambomachay, Baths of the Princesses.  It was a place where the Incas lodged.  Here there is a small spring that was being channeled through rocks. The water is from a mountain spring and has never stopped flowing.  Seeing natural running water is an opportunity for each guide to bring up "Peru Tummy", my name for it.  She told us that drinking from the natural water would result in a never ending battle with diarrhea.  I however, knew this, (not from experience...gross) and laughed when everyone else was shocked by it. 

On Saturday morning, Eric and I met up with a group that we would ride around with that day.  It was mostly families or couples, all intent on buying articles of clothing with llamas on them whereas Eric and I were focused on bathroom locations during the day.  Driving along, we stopped and played with some llamas, took pictures, and entered the Sacred Valley, a valley carved out by the Urubamba River.  I was thrilled at this point.  The mountains here were full of terraces.  Terraces served two purposes: the first to create more arable land and the second to provide erosion control.  I still don't understand how they were able to climb into the mountains and create them.

On to the ruins of Pisaq...that we didn't get to see... Rather than climbing the ruins, we had one hour to wander around a huge market where I didnt buy anything.  I was proud of my willpower.  I did however try to haggle with a 7 year old just for fun over a piece of silver. 

Then we continued through the Sacred Valley of the Incas.  Through Chinchero,Yucay, Marcabamba, Yanahuara, and Urubamba. We stopped for lunch in Urubamba, sereneded once again by a Peruvian flute player.  Urubamba, I found out, is the capital of the Sacred Valley.  It is also the corn capital of the world.  This is crazy considering Peru is also the potato capital of the world, with over 8,000 varieties of potatoes.  Hard to believe, but go to Peru, eat some traditional meals, and you will believe it. 

The last stop of Saturday was Ollantaytambo, a small village and an Inca archaeological site with a set of terraces 60 kilometers northwest of the city of Cusco. First, Ollantaytambo was the royal estate of Emperor Pachacuti, and later it acted as a fortress to fend off the Spanish forces in the 1600s.  It was here that our guide began telling us more of the history of the Incas...from rattling off the names of the kings and teaching us about the chakana (more on that later), she always managed to throw in her bitterness about the Spanish invasion such as:

Clara: What did the Spanish bring?
Us: Horses! Transportation!
Clara: They brought diseases...sigh...They brought malnourishment...sigh...They killed us off...


And then she let out a huge exasperated sigh, turned her head to the side, closed her eyes, and I assume cursed all Spanish people.  If there had been a Spanish person in our group, she would have, without a doubt, gone off on them. 

So, the chakana...an Andean symbol of the Incan civilization.  It is derived from Quechua, "chakay" meaning "to cross".  The chakana is a 3 stepped symmetirc cross with a hole in its center, representing Cuzco.  The 3 steps represent the 3 worlds, upper, middle, and lower, existing in this culture.  The upper world, Hanan Pacha includes the stars, celestial beings, and gods.  The middle world, Kay Pacha, represents human life, and the lower world, Uqhu Pacha, represents death.  Their thoughts on death were that you simply moved onto the next world when you died and continued growing older and bigger if you were a child.  This is evident in sacrificial bodies that have been discovered.  Children buried in larger clothes, larger shoes, with items that would be of use to them in their next life. 

The 3 worlds also correspond to the revered animals.  The condor/upper world, the puma/middle world, and the snake/lower world.  The number 3 in the cross is also significant by referring to the concepts of Inca life: munay/love, yachay/knowledge, and llankay/work.  And also to the 3 part agricultural system. 


We also learned about Peruvian philosophy.  The Incas had a code i life:  Do not lie, do not steal, and do not sit still.  Pretty simple.  Everyone in the empire had  a job to do.  No one stole because they didn't have to.  If one person needed help during a crop failure, a neighboring village or the state assisted those in need.  And no one sat still because there was too much to do.  Like carrying 70 ton rocks....


Add this information to this, the Inca kings:

Manco Capac

Sinchí Roca
Lloque Ypanqui

Mayta Capac

Capac Yupanqui
Inca Roca
Yahuar Huacac
Viracocha Inca
Pachacuti Inca Yupanqui
Topa Inca
Huayna Capac
Huascar
Atahuallpa
Topa Huallpa
Manco Inca
Panaullu Inca


Try saying this fast.  Really, try it.

So now I'll turn away from the history lesson and to what we actually did.  First, we climbed up the ruins.  At 12,000 or so feet, this was difficult, but I had the genius idea to just run up the steps and get it over with.  Eric and I beat the group which gave me time to catch my breath at the top.  When the rest of the group reached us, they were amazed that I was competely fine and not breathing heavy. To which I responded, "oh ya not that difficult nahhhh" (that might have been a little lie).

Walking around the top of the ruins/fortress, you can see all of Ollantaytambo and the mountains and glaciers surrounding it.  In the mountain directly across from the ruins, there are two interesting shapes present.  One is of an old man, hunched over.  The other is a carving of one of the kings on the side of a mountain.  You can see his profile.  During the winter solstice, June 21, the sun lights up the kings face, and only his face.  How the people managed to carve this huge figure into the mountain AND know exactly how it would line up with the sun that they revered is amazing to me.

The group walked around the original Inca streets, complete with their aqueduct water system (amazing), and we ventured into a "traditional" family's home.  This home included a room full of guinea pigs where the owners supposedly slept among poop, animal skulls, dead fish on the walls, etc.  Totally normal, totally traditional Incan way of life...totally normal....right?

Later, the group dropped us off at our hotel (another really nice one) and we went to dinner in the Plaza.  We sat outside and had pizza and chicken and beer and fed a cute dog while we watched two three year olds wander around being completely cool and independent. 

The next day, we met another guide, Wilfredo.  He drove us an hour and a half away to Pre-inca ruins.  This was my favorite thing other than Machu Picchu because it is so untouched.  Wilfredo was a great guide.  He got a feel for what we wanted to know and see, and he led us up to the ruins, pointing out interesting things.  He even played his handmade flute he brought :) After looking at the ruins, we were able to distinguish between pre-inca and inca structures.  Inca structures have corners that are very sharp with 90 degree angles whereas pre-inca structures are more rounded.  Wilfredo also found two pieces of pottery laying around dating back to before the Incas, and he gave us those to keep.  I have mine on display in my room. 

After this, we hiked part of the Inca trail, the original path that the Incas took to get to Machu Picchu.  From this site it takes 4 days to reach Machu Picchu by foot.  Going across streams, native families, cows, and terraces, we hiked for about 3 hours and really loved this. 

Later that evening, after lunch and walking around, we waited for the train.  Standing near the station, someone slapped by bum, and I turned around to find Kari! She and her brother were on the same train as us! We went on the more luxurious Inca Rail.  It consisted of one car that was only 10% full, and I felt like first class in our comfortable seats and free foods and drinks.  It was a pleasant two hour journey along the river through the mountains to reach Aguas Calientes, or Machu Picchu Village as some know it. 
 
In Machu Picchu village, we got off at the ridiculously crowded station and started to exit.  Upon our exit, there was a group of locals holding up signs with names on them.  Eric said, "I really hope one of those isnt for me."  but sure enough, there it was, plain as day, ERIC BEARDEN.  So, with one Peruvian and one sign in tow, the four of us followed him the whole 1 block of MP village to the 5 star El Mapi Hotel.  It was very modern and sleek, too bad we only stayed there for 8 hours.  The four of us got dinner together and were serenaded by a Peruvian band playing flutes along to songs similar to that of a Mariachi band or something you would find in Cuba.  Talk about confusion...
 
So with songs that Ricky Ricardo would sing stuck in our heads, I went back to sleep for 5 hours, dreaming of tequila, cuban cigars, and the 330 wake up call we had the next day to go to Machu Picchu...


Since I already wrote about MP, I'll skip to the end.  Tuesday night, Eric and I caught the 10 hour bus ride back to Arequipa. Sitting on the second floor of Cruz del Sur, I met two people across the aisle from me. I knew they looked familiar, and it turns out that they were at the top of Huiana Picchu at the same time as me the day before. Now we are bonded for life. And Bose is my new friend!


So, after riding along, Eric asleep behind me, I went to the bathroom around 3 am where the bus stewardess lady was waiting for me right outside the door to inform me, in spanish, that the bathrooms were for urinating only. To which I responded "que?????" to point out that she was ridiculous for standing there to tell me that. And she answered back again, in spanish, that the bathroom was for urinating only. I am SO glad I know how to say that in spanish now. 


6 am and we arrive in Arequipa. I was happy to be home and really excited to show Eric where I lived.  We napped, and I was still dreaming of flutes, mariachi bands, Ricky Ricardo, Machu Picchu, jungle men, and stairs...

Gringos: Terrorizing Arequipa since January 2011

You probably wouldn’t think that Arequipa is a party city, but it seems as if the title “Party Capital of the World” should not belong to Ibiza, Spain but rather the streets of downtown Arequipa. Because people here are crazy.

Before I arrived, Amanda told me that she and her friends liked to frequent a hostel bar called the Llama. So, a few days after my arrival, we perused into the bar one day, but I was still to out of it with altitude sickness to really absorb the people and atmosphere. When weekend number 3 arrived, I was fully recovered and fully introduced to this bar that became a second home in Arequipa.

The Llama, now known as the Wild Rover, is a meeting ground for gringos from all over the world. It never ceases to amaze me that I meet interesting people there everyday. Sitting in a quirky hostel bar, you instantly feel a friendship between you and the random person sitting on the stool next to you. Whether they are from Australia, England, New Zealand, Canada, Ireland, Israel, Argentina, Germany, the US, or anywhere else, you have something in common. You are a nomad. You love to travel. And you want to learn something from each other.

I can now go to the pub and sit alone and enjoy a meal and a drink, always confident that I will in fact not be alone. Rather, another regular will be in there who I can chat with, and my friends will be working so I can sit and enjoy their company for hours. Some time ago, Claire came in search of me at my house. And when she could not find me at home, she knew I would be at the Llama. Sure enough, two hours after my arrival, she walked in, and we sat for hours enjoying the Sunday.


I love the people I have met in the Llama. I love my stories from the Llama. And trust me, there are a wide variety of stories. Recalling these stories, I wonder…


What do the locals actually think of us gringos? I’m pretty sure on the weekends the city adds extra security the streets within the center because they know that the gringos are out to terrorize this conservative Catholic community.


One weekend in Peru consists of more absolutely ridiculous crazy antics than 6 months worth of strange events in Arkansas combined. And it’s so easy. For instance, one weekend, us four girls went to the Llama to have a movie night in their TV room. Dressed in casual clothes, no makeup, and messy hair, we stayed there for 5 hours. And stayed out until 6 am. It’s a place where the unexpected happens…but it happens everyday. I know you want real stories, but that would take hours. But to summarize…


It’s not uncommon to find Claire and I doing an interpretive dance to Bohemian Rhapsody at the pub. It includes me sliding on me knees across to her during “MAMAAAAAA….DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE YOU CRY….” You get the picture.


It’s not odd to find Amanda and I on top of the bar dancing awkwardly and doing weekly routines to our favorite songs. And this all occurs before midnight. After I have won a limbo contest (being the tallest person in the room). Then, you might see one of us pouring a bottle of water on Matt, Miguel, or Fiona’s heads as they work. For some reason, us girls think that is an acceptable thing to do. And it is here. It’s never strange to be hit on by a Peruvian who can’t speak English but is so under the influence that all he can do is call you Princess and spill 5 beers all at once, all over you and your friends. Sometimes, you can find me and Miguel wrestling outside in the common area. Or Amanda and I Indian leg wrestling on the ground outside in the common area. It’s completely normal to see the bartenders walking around in leopard print fur coats, trash bags, guys wearing women’s lingerie, or some other form of a crazy costume…it all depends on the theme that night. All this might make me sound a little crazy...but don't get me wrong...I just like to have fun. :)

On Friday nights, there is a pub trivia quiz. A quiz of 40 questions. Our team consists of…me, Amanda, Claire, Sabah, Verena, and Mick. We win every time. Mick’s enthusiasm and competitiveness is a great start to the night. We cover our papers immediately so no one around can see the answers. Mick walks around telling everyone that we are going to win. He yells out, YESSSSS, every time we get an answer correct. Which is all of them. After two weeks of winning, everyone knows that they can’t beat us. Our prizes are always appropriate considering it’s a pub. Two pitchers of rum and coke for the team.

Sometimes, the 4 of us girls go to a bar that has no name, but apparently is infamous. We call it the Red Bar. Because the walls are painted red. You know the instant you walk in for the first time that it will be an awkward visit. It is full of only men and no one can decide exactly what kind of bar it is. As we sit down with a pitcher to split between the four of us, we always decide to drink fast and get out because the staring is just too awkward. And before we can comprehend what is going on, a 5 year old walks into the bar and tries to sell us something. But eventually, we are used to this. After all, children have helped Peruvian nights run smoothly for a long time. Then, Bohemian Rhapsody plays on the speakers. And the four of us put on a show of air guitar, piano, drums, and singing. And then we run away, out the door, ignoring the comments…Chicas lindas, hermosas, etc.

After this, we all go to Frogs, the reggae club Kibosh, Déjà vu, La Raja (where the bartenders look like pirates so we call it the Pirate Bar), Mono Blanco (the French bar), etc. The security guards line up at the doors when they see us coming. At Frogs, they wont let Sabah in because she has a bottle of water in her purse. A fight almost ensues and we are all kicked out. Normal. We head to Déjà vu. They wont let us in for free (we have attempted the “but we are tourists please let us in for free” act for months) because by now they know us. So, one of our local friends licks the bouncers face. She probably won’t remember this the next day. And they let us in for free. Normal. We go to Kibosh where there is a private party. But somehow we get in anyways. The group has dwindled. You have been yelled at by friends. You have yelled at friends. Laughed 5 minutes later. Run into your students. Run away from your friends. Chased after you friends. Turned a quiet bar into a dance party. Walked home at 4 am. Inside your room you decide that you want to go back out. So, at 405 am, you go back to Déjà vu. Because this is completely normal. The next day, we all start waking up around 1 or 2 pm. And the second we see each other, we start to laugh, because something stupid has happened the night before.

We love the weekends. And while there is no time to tell stories of why gringos are crazy, just know that…

When your night begins like this…

What else can Arequipa expect?